Rabu, 28 Mei 2008

Daughtersofmoms withBREASTCANCER It's Megan again.

Well today was the day! I just got done opening and looking at the
box that holds my mothers cremation remains. I had to open it and
look at her, no matter how difficult it would have been. How could I
not? This whole death thing is really creeping me out. Even though my
mother is passed away, she is still with me in my heart and soul. Her
remains is only her shell as my aunt chooses to look at it. But her
body is all I've ever known. I don't understand how to change the way
I look at it, as now her spirit is in Heaven. It doesn't all add up
to me! LOL.

I feel so helpless and useless right now. Plus to top it all off I
feel lonesome. I don't know what to think, and even if it all makes
since the way I'm looking at things. This is all sooo confusing. All
I know is that I miss my mothers laugh and smile and warmth when she
hugs me and kisses me. I miss looking into her beautiful green eyes
and saying good-night to her. Things wont be the same without her.
Please someone respond to my message. I need some words of
encouragement. And I need some friends. I have none, literally. I
spend too much time stuck inside the dang house, because when I open
the front door, I'm hyperventilating and wanting to come back inside
where I know everything is safe. And nobody can take anything away
from me or hurt me.


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