I can't thank you both enough for being part of this group and I am so glad I joined. I am very new at all of this (Mom was diagnosed about 4 weeks ago and had a double mastectomy on Wed). I am trying to draw upon your strengths & hope and can certainly relate to the pain. Our Moms are our best friends. I have not discussed my Mom with my friends or coworkers and my husband just keeps telling me "oh, she will be fine.....". I feel so alone in all of this--except when I open my emails.
I can't help feeling selfish when I think of how I will live without her in my life. It is unimaginable. I sometimes have crept into my past and have called her Mommy. It is just so comforting.
You are both in my daily thoughts and prayers as well as your Mom and families.
Thank you both and we are in this together.
Many many hugs,
Lesa
--- On Fri, 9/5/08, Angie Henderson <zirjmom@gmail.com> wrote:
From: Angie Henderson <zirjmom@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: Daughtersofmoms withBREASTCANCER I'm sorry to have to join this club...
To: daughtersofmomswithbreastcancer@yahoogroups.com
Date: Friday, September 5, 2008, 9:40 AM
Eliza,
Do you live in Texas? I am blessed with a wonderful husband that is willing
to do what ever he can to make sure that Mom is taken care of. I am also
blessed that she has my Dad to support and care for her. He will have to
return to work soon, so I will be taking care of her during this time.
My Mom technically never had breast cancer-only breast cancer markers for
the cancer in her bones. She is treated at the breast center at MD
Anderson. Her official diagnosis is Metastatic Cancer with Unknown Primary.
Doctors (Dr Cristofanilli) have told her that she may have had a tumor, that
her body killed and absorbed. Unfortunately, not before it went to her
bones.
I've also learned that my mom is my hero and someone I strive to be like
everyday. I wish I had her strength.
I couldn't have said this better myself. My mom had to have a spinal tap to
rule out Lepto mets. They had to stick her 12 times. She did not complain,
or get angry. She said they were just trying to do their best (and they
were.)
Through all of this, she still manages to smile, and her greatest fear is
about what we will do without her.
Hugs,
Angie
From: daughtersofmomswith breastcancer@ yahoogroups. com
[mailto:daughtersofmomswith breastcancer@ yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Eliza
Sent: Sunday, August 31, 2008 12:03 AM
To: daughtersofmomswith breastcancer@ yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: Daughtersofmoms withBREASTCANCER I'm sorry to have to join this
club...
Hey Angie. I almost feel like we are twins. My mother is 52 and was
diagnosed about 3 years ago. My head has been constantly spinning since all
of this began. She had done chemotherapy, had a bilateral mastectomy and
then did radiation. They said that it was pretty aggressive so wanted to
start the chemo right away.
We were so happy when radiation was over and she got to "ring the bell" at
MD Anderson to signify her last visit. Little did we know that about 3
months later we would be right back there. It has progressed to stage IV
and has metastisized to her bones, mainly her pelvis, her spine, liver,
stomach and now some lung tissue. We recently brought her home from the
hospital and she is staying with my husband and I. I was so thrilled to
have her home, so happy to be away from all the constant visits.
I have such mixed emotions about all this. Right now I think I'm pissed
(pardon my french). Why did it have to come back. Why can't we get a
break?? You know I see those little commercials on TV of survivors and I get
so jealous and envious. Why can't we have that?
My mother is so young as well, and is my best friend. I have to stop myself
from calling her all the time like I used to. These days, unless the phone
is in her lap she cannot reach it. We're working on Physical therapy and
are improving a lilttle more each day.
I try so hard to be positive, but I find myself getting knocked down here
and there. I try my best to keep a happy face for my mom, a tear sneaks in
every now and again, as I'm sure it will, but I try my best to keep her in
postive spirits.
I know how it feels to have your best friend be hurting. It makes you want
to give anything to take that hurt away, even if it means you have to take
it yourself. I think in all of this, I've learned that every moment is
precious, I've learned a great deal of patience, and I've also learned that
my mom is my hero and someone I strive to be like everyday. I wish I had
her strength.
Please tell your mom we love her and you too. If we have to do it, we might
as well do it together.
Eliza
--- On Mon, 8/25/08, mizhenderson <zirjmom@gmail. com
<mailto:zirjmom% 40gmail.com> > wrote:
From: mizhenderson <zirjmom@gmail. com <mailto:zirjmom% 40gmail.com> >
Subject: Daughtersofmoms withBREASTCANCER I'm sorry to have to join this
club...
To: daughtersofmomswith breastcancer@ yahoogroups. com
<mailto:daughtersof momswithbreastca ncer%40yahoogrou ps.com>
Date: Monday, August 25, 2008, 5:12 PM
But I am glad that you are here.
My mom was diagnosed with BC Mets to her bones, and she has a couple
of spots on her liver that are questionable. It took super human
effort to get her diagnosed, because she does not have any evidence of
cancer in her breasts, or her lymph nodes. The way they found it was
breast cancer was to do a biopsy of her pelvic bone in an area that is
full of cancer. It came back positive for BC markers. It was a shock
and is very frightening.
Right now she is at MD Anderson in Houston. She is receiving
radiation on both of her hips, her left shoulder and the middle of her
spine. They tell her it is the worst case of bone disease that they
have ever seen. For years she thought it was arthritis. It would
have been better if she had actually had BC in her breast, because
then they would have known to look for mets instead of just insisting
that it was arthritis.
She will begin chemo once radiation is finished. Radiation has
provided a great relief from the pain, and it promises to continue to
do so. Of course, I am not naive or in denial and I know that she has
a terminal illness. I do not know however what the future may hold.
I am just trying to hold on to each day, let go of things that I
cannot control, and try to keep joy and normality in my life. My
Mother is my best friend, and she is only 54. I never in my wildest
thoughts would have guessed that I would have the possibility of
losing her at such an early age.
I am here to vent and join my fellow sisters in this fight for our
mother's lives. The good, the bad, the ugly. I've noticed it is slow
around here. I hope that more people are able to find their way here,
because sadly, there are alot of us out there.
Sincerly,
Angie
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