We were so happy when radiation was over and she got to "ring the bell" at MD Anderson to signify her last visit. Little did we know that about 3 months later we would be right back there. It has progressed to stage IV and has metastisized to her bones, mainly her pelvis, her spine, liver, stomach and now some lung tissue. We recently brought her home from the hospital and she is staying with my husband and I. I was so thrilled to have her home, so happy to be away from all the constant visits.
I have such mixed emotions about all this. Right now I think I'm pissed (pardon my french). Why did it have to come back. Why can't we get a break?? You know I see those little commercials on TV of survivors and I get so jealous and envious. Why can't we have that?
My mother is so young as well, and is my best friend. I have to stop myself from calling her all the time like I used to. These days, unless the phone is in her lap she cannot reach it. We're working on Physical therapy and are improving a lilttle more each day.
I try so hard to be positive, but I find myself getting knocked down here and there. I try my best to keep a happy face for my mom, a tear sneaks in every now and again, as I'm sure it will, but I try my best to keep her in postive spirits.
I know how it feels to have your best friend be hurting. It makes you want to give anything to take that hurt away, even if it means you have to take it yourself. I think in all of this, I've learned that every moment is precious, I've learned a great deal of patience, and I've also learned that my mom is my hero and someone I strive to be like everyday. I wish I had her strength.
Please tell your mom we love her and you too. If we have to do it, we might as well do it together.
Eliza
--- On Mon, 8/25/08, mizhenderson <zirjmom@gmail.com> wrote:
From: mizhenderson <zirjmom@gmail.com>
Subject: Daughtersofmoms withBREASTCANCER I'm sorry to have to join this club...
To: daughtersofmomswithbreastcancer@yahoogroups.com
Date: Monday, August 25, 2008, 5:12 PM
But I am glad that you are here.
My mom was diagnosed with BC Mets to her bones, and she has a couple
of spots on her liver that are questionable. It took super human
effort to get her diagnosed, because she does not have any evidence of
cancer in her breasts, or her lymph nodes. The way they found it was
breast cancer was to do a biopsy of her pelvic bone in an area that is
full of cancer. It came back positive for BC markers. It was a shock
and is very frightening.
Right now she is at MD Anderson in Houston. She is receiving
radiation on both of her hips, her left shoulder and the middle of her
spine. They tell her it is the worst case of bone disease that they
have ever seen. For years she thought it was arthritis. It would
have been better if she had actually had BC in her breast, because
then they would have known to look for mets instead of just insisting
that it was arthritis.
She will begin chemo once radiation is finished. Radiation has
provided a great relief from the pain, and it promises to continue to
do so. Of course, I am not naive or in denial and I know that she has
a terminal illness. I do not know however what the future may hold.
I am just trying to hold on to each day, let go of things that I
cannot control, and try to keep joy and normality in my life. My
Mother is my best friend, and she is only 54. I never in my wildest
thoughts would have guessed that I would have the possibility of
losing her at such an early age.
I am here to vent and join my fellow sisters in this fight for our
mother's lives. The good, the bad, the ugly. I've noticed it is slow
around here. I hope that more people are able to find their way here,
because sadly, there are alot of us out there.
Sincerly,
Angie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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