Selasa, 25 Maret 2008

Re: Daughtersofmoms withBREASTCANCER talking openly to mom

Hi,
I just lost my Mom a month ago and her breast cancer spread to her back in
the beginning too. I went through many months wanting to talk to her openly
but she wouldn¹t. She didn¹t open up until very recently when I think she
knew she wouldn¹t make it. I would write her letters to get her to open up
and that helped a little. We were EXTREMELY close, like twins, so the
distance killed me. But, I think it is their way of protecting their loved
ones. I would tell her how proud I was of her fighting and how I knew she
was in a lot of pain and that seemed to help. You just have to really take
it slow. And, don¹t ignore other symptoms. Last summer, she had blurred
vision and we thought it was just her eyesight. It ended up being a brain
tumor which eventually spread to her liver. I don¹t want to scare you but
was kinda in denial until very recently. Just be with her as much as you can
and love on her.
Shana
On 3/22/08 2:15 PM, "lisasabine" <lisasabine@yahoo.com> wrote:

>
>
>
> Hi. I am new to this group. My mom has had a reoccurance (over a year
> ago) and just recently found out it has spread to a bone in her spine.
> I live far from her and occassionally get to go with her to her appts.
> She is now having pain and it seems that they have stepped up her
> treatment even more. I am having a hard time getting clear answers
> from my mom. She tries to protect me from bad news, but I really need
> information! I do not want to upset her, but I want to try to have a
> realistic picture of the time she may have. I would try even harder to
> be with her (taking off work, taking the kids out of school). I want
> to have a real discussion about her wishes when that time comes. Based
> on what others have told me and what I have read, her time could be
> limited. Any advice on how to open up conversation without sounding
> like you've given up the fight. Of course, I want to support her while
> she continues to fight, but do not want to look back and wish I had
> done more, said things differently...Thanks for any support you may
> offer.
>
>
>


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