Tiffany
MeGaN <megan2007_4208@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hi this is Megan again. I started writing to this group when my mother
Jacky was still alive. The days are very slow, and they even at times
seem to drag. I miss my mother sooooo much. It sucks that she is
nothing but a dang memory to me now. What am I supposed to do without
my best friend here??? I don't hardly ever feel like leaving the
house. I always have flashbacks of either good times or bad times
with my mom. It hurts so much to make myself realize she's no longer
here. All I want is my mom back before she had the notorious "C" word.
I hate Cancer. I hate what it did to my mother. It changed her
appearance really bad in those last days, as she had asked me to quote
on quote "Pull the plug"
My mother was so brave. I remember asking her if she was afraid, and
she just shook her head no. It took 2 1/2 days for her to pass in the
V.A. hospital after I respected her wishes and did the necessary
procedures for her to go in peace. I stayed by her side, and I sang
"Amazing Grace" to her along side her sister, who is a Breast Cancer
survivor. (As I sit her and recollect on these things the tears are
streaming down my face!!) I also read bible versus to her, and read
the book of Ruth to her. She always was a strong believer of reading
her bible whatever chance she got.
The inner beauty that shinned threw her those last days was
UNBELIEVABLE. Even though she had asked me not to have her vitals
taken, I had to, so I knew how close it would be. I sorta had to
prepare myself for the worst. I'm so proud of my mom, she fought bc
until her body wouldn't let her anymore. She was so stubborn, I
remember she was trying to speak to me , even though I couldn't
understand her,( all I heard was a whisper) and then I told her that
she didn't have to say anymore. She has done her best, and doesn't
have to try so hard anymore. To tell you the truth, I never thought
that I would be able to handle holding her hand and watching her take
her last breaths but, Someone was there in that hospital room to give
me extra strength. Someone I used to despite.
Thanks for letting me vent. For now thats all I have to say. Buh Bye
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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