balling right now, it is nice to now that there is a
group of people that we can go to that understands
what we are going through.
I just got back two weeks ago from visiting my Mom in
South Carolina and things did not look good her tumors
in the collar bone area are growing and now they have
deceided to radiate her. This is dangerous since the
tumors are located above the jugular vien but there is
no other alternative. I am also calling her everyday
to see how she is doing and she seems so tired and
weak. She is on chemo as well.
My consolation now is that we are being transfered
back to the US after 9 years of living overseas and i
will be living in the same town as her by July.
As both both of you I began to have the same concerns
however another part of me just wants to be positive
and believe she will beat this. I just can not
imagine my life without her.
Thanks for listening to me
Sabrina
--- Grooming Angel Pet Salon
<luv4patrick2003@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Lisa,
> I had to respond to your email after lurking on
> this board still since my mom passed away from
> Breast cancer reacurrence back in Oct. 2007.
> Your questions and concerns sound the exact same
> as mine were. Also my mom was extremely positive
> intil the day she passed that she was going to see
> my 5 yr. old son graduate. She was only 62 and was
> diagnosed again with stage 4 in January 2007. My
> parents live in Sun City West, AZ and I'm far far
> away here in Seattle,WA. I was able to make two
> trips and spend approx. 3 weeks with her from
> Jan-Oct. but she wasn't in the right mind frame to
> even think about passing or want to go there in any
> conversation when I was at her home visiting. I
> admired her for being so brave and strong but I sure
> wish we would of had just a few more deep
> conversations then we did before she passed. My mom
> did start opening up to me over the phone about 3
> weeks before she passed away about things she had
> never talked to me about before. She made sure to
> tell me that I was doing a great job with raising my
> son and also her dad had just passed of lung cancer
> and she talked about how death
> was just part of life and said it kind of lightly
> like we all have to face it sometime. My mom was
> doing very well when I last saw her and then she
> slowly (but quickly) got worse. I could hear it in
> her voice on the phone and her breathing on oxygen
> fulltime was even hard for her to do anything but
> sit and watch TV for months before I even was told
> after she passed away. My Dad said she didn't want
> me to worry and spend alot of money coming back down
> there or pull my little boy out of school, quit my
> job etc...etc...that there was nothing anyone could
> do. I know she was protecting me but I wish I would
> of known just how important every single day was for
> me to be there. I called everyday sometimes twice
> a day and probably drove her crazy, but still I wish
> I would of had more time. This has been the hardest
> last 5 months of my life losing my mom (my best
> friend). If it weren't for this group I don't know
> what I'd of done, so many nice people on this board.
> My only
> advice is if you can't be there make sure that you
> go ahead and say all those things that we wish we
> would of been able to say, just incase. Even if I
> would of wrote a nice letter just telling her what a
> great mom she was etc...ect.... I would of felt
> better then leaving things un said, because she was
> so positive and strong there never was a time to
> really bring anything up with her even on the phone.
> My moms doctor that I met when I was there was
> actually in shock when she died, because she was
> doing so well and even her markers were holding
> steady etc...they thought atleast 2-3 yrs. as strong
> as she was and her outlook on life. One never knows
> though which makes it so difficult being so far
> away. If there is any way you can visit or take
> time off of work if you think there's anyway you
> can spend every chance you get with her. One thing
> my mom did tell me or should I say teach me is too
> take risks "Life is Short". She did tell me that I
> needed to pursue my dreams
> of someday opening up my own Pet Grooming Salon and
> do what I love. So that is exactly what I've been
> working on for the past 5 months. I have worked
> tons of overtime at my grooming job at the Vet
> Hospital to pay for a contractor to come in and
> remodel my garage into a salon. That way I can
> spend more time with my 5 yr. old son and chose my
> days off!
> Hang in there it's a long rough emotional road but
> please know that we are here for you even though we
> may just be internet chat board members we all are
> thinking of you and are hear to help in any way we
> can. You'll be in my Prayers...
>
>
> Laura Gutman <lgutman2002@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Dear Lisa, i am sorry for the spot you are
> in, it is almost identical as to my situation 6
> years ago (350 miles an 18 month old and a 4 year
> old - not school age at the time) the only advice i
> can offer is spend as much time as possible with her
> (weekend trips if possible). if she is up and still
> running the kitchen she may not be ready to talk
> about the next step yet, she is still in the battle
> (which is great)!!!! trust in your heart that you
> will know when is the time to talk about
> arrangements (do them before hand - it is so so so
> much easier), and you will know when the time is
> right to take off work and pull the kids out of
> school. you may want to talk to American cancer
> society or even hospices (it doesn't cost a thing to
> talk to them) ask them to go over the emotional
> stages with you so you know what to look for. i send
> wishes and prayers your way that her time is latter
> than sooner. in the mean time keep your head up,
> seek help when you need it,
> its a very long dark tunnel...and that's all i can
> say is i promise you will come out the other end.
> Laura
>
> ----- Original Message ----
> From: lisasabine <lisasabine@yahoo.com>
> To: daughtersofmomswithbreastcancer@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Saturday, March 22, 2008 1:15:17 PM
> Subject: Daughtersofmoms withBREASTCANCER talking
> openly to mom
>
> Hi. I am new to this group. My mom has had a
> reoccurance (over a year
> ago) and just recently found out it has spread to a
> bone in her spine.
> I live far from her and occassionally get to go with
> her to her appts.
> She is now having pain and it seems that they have
> stepped up her
> treatment even more. I am having a hard time getting
> clear answers
> from my mom. She tries to protect me from bad news,
> but I really need
> information! I do not want to upset her, but I want
> to try to have a
> realistic picture of the time she may have. I would
> try even harder to
> be with her (taking off work, taking the kids out of
> school). I want
> to have a real discussion about her wishes when that
> time comes. Based
> on what others have told me and what I have read,
> her time could be
> limited. Any advice on how to open up conversation
> without sounding
> like you've given up the fight. Of course, I want to
> support her while
> she continues to fight, but do not want to look back
> and wish I had
> done more, said things differently. ..Thanks for any
> support you may
> offer.
>
>
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> [Non-text portions of this message have been
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>
>
>
>
>
>
> Jan Lewis
> Grooming Angel Pet Salon
> (253) 686-6031
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
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