Hopes Doped Water Will Be His Legacy, President Says
On a day when millions Americans were reeling from the news that
there were trace amounts of prescription drugs in their drinking
water, President George W. Bush made a stunning announcement at the
White House.
"I am responsible for this," Mr. Bush told reporters. "This is my
idea of a prescription drug plan."
Standing before a banner reading "Prescription Accomplished," the
president said that he hoped providing Americans with free
medications via their tap water would prove to be "the finest legacy"
of his Administration.
Mr. Bush indicated that America's drug-laced waters could boost
tourism in the U.S., adding that English rocker Pete Doherty was
"getting on the next plane over here."
Across the country, the announcement that President Bush had doped
America's drinking water with dozens of prescription medications drew
a variety of reactions.
"It makes me proud to be an American," said pitching great Roger
Clemens.
Responding to the news that she had been imbibing anti-anxiety drugs
in her water, New York resident Carol Foyler said, "I'm not worried
about it, but come to think of it, I'm not worried about anything
anymore."
But Atlanta's Tracy Klujian said that he believes all drinking water
in the U.S. should come with a warning label indicating possible side
effects.
From Andy Borowitz
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